21 July 2005 - 1:48pm
missionary position
On my way home from Wegman's today to buy fruit for what will undoubtedly be a fabulous fruit salad, I was stopped by two missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Mormons.
Now, they seemed friendly enough, so I stood and chatted (in the blistering sun) with them for a few minutes.
I told them I was a Baha'i (not entirely true, since the Faith doesn't technically accept homosexuality as a lifestyle...yet...but it is for the most part true).
They had no f-ing clue what the Baha'i Faith was (you'd think they'd require missionaries to be a little more informed on the world's major religions, of which the Baha'i Faith definitely is), so I informed them.
They claimed that their beliefs were similar to the Baha'i Faith (lie), and said that they'd love for me to join them at their church. (At this point, I realized they were travelling missionaries, because they had to look up the location of the church. So I decided to have a little fun with them and their not-acquainted-with-Ithacan-etiquette.)
"So, what are your teachings on homosexuality?"
(they grimaced - it seemed like they'd been asked this question before and shot down)
"Well, we know that the practices of homosexuality do happen, but..." (insert some scrambling for words here...)
"Because, well, I'm very gay, and I'm very happy being gay."
"I know from personal experience with my family that this can be a very hard time for you, and the church can help you find the right path."
"Actually, it's not hard at all. And I've found my path, thanks."
"Oh, well...will you come to the church sometime, see what it's like?"
"Probably not. I'm pretty set in being a Baha'i and being very gay and pro-choice and a feminist."
"Oh. Well, we'll just leave you this pamphlet, if that's ok."
"If you must."
They handed me a pamphlet entitled The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
It's a small little thing, with copy covering only the inside 3 panels of the pamphlet, but damn, some of that copy is pretty damn offensive and inflammatory.
For example:
"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
"The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."
"The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families..and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."
"Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."
And the WARNINGS:
"individuals who violate chastity" (i.e. gay people and those damn whores who fuck w/o being married -- aka most of my generation) "will one day stand accountable before God."
"the disintegration of the family" (i.e. what those damn activist judges in Mass. are doing, allowing gay people to marry) "will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."
Number of times "marriage between a man and a woman" is mentioned: 12.
Honestly.
Denouncing homosexuality in Ithaca, which some people have described as the mini-San Francisco of the east coast, and one of the gay meccas of the northeastern US?
What were they thinking?
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Comments
I was in Harvard Square and there was this guy handing out a flier. On it in big letters it read "What Jesus Said About Homosexuality." Inside it was blank, except the words. "That's right. Jesus never said anything about homosexuality."
I got snookered, but a big laugh, anyway.
Also, come to think about it, Jesus never got married and hung out with a bunch of men, none of who seemed to be married either, or if they were, they were not off doing what these Mormons wanted them to do.
And Judas? Was he not called "the beloved." Hmm. The plot thickens....
I once met somebody who theorized that Jesus + 12 apostles = 13 = coven. An interesting theory that I haven't heard since.
--|PW|--
...or the Goddess or gods or whatever.
I'm much more concerned about people who claim to speak for Him (or Her or them or whatever). Last I checked, Dobson and Falwell and Robertson and all these holier-than-thous weren't in the Bible, either. So who died and appointed them judges of us all?
Some say he was gay. There was a book with that theory out not too long ago. Some say he was a Witch, as Pennywit suggests, or more accurately that he and Mary Magdalene were Priest and Priestess in an Isis and Osiris cult, which is quite likely given the time and the place. Or he may have practiced a form of Jewish Mysticism. Some say he was an Essene Rabbi. Some say he never existed at all. There is no physical or historical evidence except the scrolls, so it's all conjecture, as is most religous musing.
I'm tired of people trying to legislate laws from a book written a couple of thousand years ago for nomadic tribes of Hebrews. Even in their scripture, Jesus specifies that he is only savior of the Jews. The guy who extended it to Gentiles never knew Jesus, which makes me suspect. I'm a strict constructionist when it comes to scripture.
I'm not concerned what Goddess thinks of me because I'm part of her, as is everyone and everything. It's what I think of myself that counts.
Yes, the people who claim a deity is speaking through them can be scary. I do believe that people can be divinely inspired, but they can also be delusional. When in doubt, I go by their actions and anyone who thinks that sex among consenting adults is bad has no credibility with me at all.
Also, I've read the Bible, and nowhere in it does it say the following:
Blessed are the warmongers.
The Rich shall inherit the Earth.
"Blow them away in the name of the Lord" - that's Falwell, btw.
It does say things about giving everything you have to the poor, "Blessed are the Peace Makers" and "Love they neighbor as thyself".
Those are philosophies I can get behind, no matter who said them.
In preparation for future close encounters of the fundamentalist kind, you might want to read my articles How to talk to a Christian - because we have to, whether we want to or not. and A Crash course in the Christian Supremacist Movement.
Morgaine-ism© #8
"A Woman's Sexual and Reproductive Autonomy is Sacred and Absolute."
I always recommend Christopher Moore's Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal for a more humorous look at the life of Jesus.
And me? I don't worry so much about the divine. I'm a godless atheist. I used to be a godless commie, but I got kicked out after I confused Karl with Harpo.
It was an honest mistake. Really.
--|PW|--
Pennywit - are you involved with the Brights movement? I'm very interested to see how it affects the rights of Atheists.
Morgaine-ism© #8
"A Woman's Sexual and Reproductive Autonomy is Sacred and Absolute."
Can't say I'm involved with them. I found a long time ago that I'm too cynical to be a very good activist. I also find that I don't particularly subscribe to a "Bright" or "atheist" constituency. Slight problem with us centrists, now that I think about it. A lot of us are incredibly ornery, iconoclastic, and downright disagreeable, so it's really difficult to create a constituency.
--|PW|--
you might at least refrain from going around pissing on other people's attempts to organize. Activism is in short supply and desperately needed as it is. You have a constitutency among people who don't care enough to vote or find actual news. I suppose if you have nothing to lose, you can afford to be passive and crusty. Some of us have our bodies, our freedom and even our lives at stake. It's a little harder to be reasonable when it's YOUR rights in danger.
Morgaine-ism© #8
"A Woman's Sexual and Reproductive Autonomy is Sacred and Absolute."
Over 40% of the eligible voters in this country never vote. Some may find that reassuring. I find it rather appalling that so many feel so disenfranchised that they don't even bother trying.
I think people need to wake up. The TV show is ending.